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Watching

Observing, to see, watch, perceive, or notice. To me it comes natural, I’ve always been more of an observer. Taking it all in without interfering, to pay attention to the details, to see as much as I can and making mental notes. Especially when it comes to people and their behavior, how they act in certain circumstances and how they react to certain things. It made me see that even though how different everyone is they all display the same emotions, the same way of making those emotions visible to the world surrounding them. Some more clear than others and even a few who can mask it almost completely. But no matter how much someone tries to hide their true feelings there’s always something that gives away how they feel; By the way they speak or avoid your gaze, how they dance around your questions and how they make up answers on the spot. It’s in the way they look and their body language speaks for them most times. The more you pay attention to it and the more you compare it to others in a similar situation the more you start to see, the patterns that always return in some shape or form. It makes me feel that through learning to see the signs I can also respond more appropriately, to say the right things at the right time or not say anything at all. To give people the best version of me they need at that time. It gives me time to think about the words I want to say and the things I want to avoid mentioning depending on the situation. It is something I will always keep on doing. Something I will get better at over time. It might even be a tool for myself to stop hiding my own emotions and losing the armor I have been wearing for years and years. To stop being ashamed for my own emotions and the way I think about things. 

Every step I take from now on is for self improvement, being as considerate as I can to those around me without pushing my own needs to the end of the line again.

D.

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The journey goes on

I’m back again for some more writing about the every day joys that life has to offer. I can only say that I had a great day of from work. I stayed in bed for way too long but I can’t feel guilty about that. There isn’t much that beats reading a book in a overly relaxed state. I kept on turning pages after I woke up and before I knew it half the day had passed me by. I didn’t even notice how beautiful the weather was outside, which is surprising since we’re well into October now. The sun was shining, there were barely any clouds and temperatures were good enough to leave the house without a jacket. So I grabbed the necessities and made way towards my mother’s house for a little family visit.

When I got there I noticed my aunt, who has a lovely little house on Sao Tomé, a small island off the coast of central Africa, stopped by for a visit. As usual she had some wonderful stories to share with us from her experiences spending time amidst an entirely different culture. It all sounds wonderful and I marked a new destination on my “places I must visit” list; which by this time is getting longer and longer. I am pretty sure that if I would one day win the lottery that I would use a lot of that money to see the world and experience as many different cultures and lifestyles as possible. The country I live in has a big variety of people and cultures and I love it. I love learning their habits and most of all, taste their traditional types of food. If anything makes me a happy camper it is a battle between an amazing book or an amazing meal. A battle that could be won by either side easily.

I also came to the realization that I am more out of shape than ever, I spent the majority of the afternoon running around the backyard with my little brother. He just kept on going tirelessly while I tried to keep up his pace. Even as I am writing this I feel sour in muscles that I didn’t even know I had but honestly, it feels great. It makes me feel alive.

I hope that the upcoming days, weeks, months and years will bring me as much joy as these last weeks have provided, I know that I am capable of facing the challenges life will throw at me, it is just the way you cope with them that makes the difference, and I have finally found a way to do so.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed reading this. The short story I am working on is about half way done and should be released soon! Keep looking out for that one.

D.