feelings

Companions on the journey

We all need them, the few people in our lives which we can lean on. People that’ll never give up on you no matter how you act or how you change. People that’ll always see that one thing in you that made them your friends in the first place. They’ll always find a way to once again make that spark light up and enlighten them, enlighten yourself. Even the darkest of times can’t hold them back and they would go to hell and back for you. They would give you their all without requiring anything in return. They are the ones that’ll pick you up when you fall down or that’ll wait until you are ready to get back up yourself. They will carry your burdens and you will carry theirs as if they were your own. You will find a solution for the hardest of life’s challenges or find a compromise that at that time is the better option.

I have recently discovered those people in my life. Even though I have felt alone for so long, surrounding myself with people I thought were my friends but in fact were just people who happened to be there, who happened to be available. I have neglected the people who really mattered for a long time, drowning myself in sorrow and self-pity. I felt “good” on my own, I didn’t have the urge to talk to anyone. I got used to being alone. Have always been the worse at talking to strangers and I would rather avoid it than to engage in a conversation. But some how, these people dug their way into my life, patiently chipping away at the walls I had put up around myself and breached into my comfort zone, taking up a special place in my heart. These are people I would never want to lose again and I would give my life for them. I am very grateful for their patience and for them to see the light in me I had never noticed myself. At the same time I feel bad for shutting myself off from the outside world a few months ago, falling back into my bad habit of being alone and being perfectly comfortable with it. Not willing to bother anyone with my problems, not wanting to add to their own burdens by sharing my own. But even then, they stood there. Waiting for me to emerge again, as if nothing had ever happened. As if I didn’t turn my back on them for my own selfish need to be alone. Never again I say. Never again will I abandon the ones that matter, the ones I should cherish and hold close. The ones that’ll always have a place in my heart, and I in theirs.

D.

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